Yesterday, my sister, June Liza and I attended the Gising Kabataan Revival and Concert Gathering at the Cuneta Astradome. Although we arrived a little past 10am (the concert was scheduled to start by 8am), the place is not yet full of people and we were able to get a seat with a good view of the stage.
No Compromise.
We arrived as the first speaker is wrapping up his message for the youth. He talked about purity, holiness and righteousness among the youths. He stressed that youths are prone to temptations and as Christians, we must resist the devil and start living a life without making any compromises. I remembered there were times that I fall and made compromises myself, and I felt that during those times, God is so far away from me. It is not that He was the One who abandoned me, but I realized that it is I who let go of His hand and chose to wander from His presence. But thanks to Him and his amazing love, I am back in His presence and this time I said to myself, there will be no more compromises. God is holy and as His children, I should be holy. I’ll do this right this time.
Pilipino Ako.
We were given flags of the Philippines during the gathering. After all, it is Independence Day. But the flag is modified in such a way that the flag of Israel was incorporated with the Philippine flag. The speaker talked about the role of the Philippines in the last days. She said that PILIPINO is composed of three significant words: PILI (chosen), LIPI (race) and PINO (refined). She said that Filipinos are the chosen race, the chosen nation that is undergoing purification and that we will be used to restore back Israel, God’s chosen people. Hearing those words, I am so proud to be a Filipino.
Unity in the Body of Christ.
The other youths from the church arrived as the morning sessions were halfway thru. They passed by our seats and invited us to join them. We just mumbled thanks and decided not to seat with them. On my part, I really don’t want to be with them, because he and she were with them. I still hurt whenever I see them together.
The next topic was unity in the body of Christ. I was crying as the Word of the Lord is being preached. The speaker, Atty. Jojo Villanueva, talked about how churches with their many denominations are not united. When we say Christians, people will ask what kind of Christian? Pentecostal? Evangelical? Baptist? There were so many denominations and churches are comparing themselves with each other and divisions are numerous.
I was not thinking about these things, God is saying another thing to me. For the past weeks, I am alienating myself from most of the Youths because of my issue with him and her. I chose not to be with them because I felt that they are all conspiring against me. I felt betrayed because they did not listen to my side of the story and chose to believe the stories he told them. And somehow, my close friends also avoided them to be with me, and to comfort me. There were times that a friend told me she can’t look at him because she is so hurt but what he is doing to me. The youth has been divided into 2 groups and I felt I was the one responsible. I asked God to forgive me and to help me forgive those people who has caused this hurt that I am feeling.
When the pastor asked us to shake hands with those people around us, I put up my best smile (even though tears are falling from my eyes) and shook hands with people from other churches. But my heart longs to reach out and shook the hands of the other youths from my church sitting across the other end of the lower box. It was just so painful when not even one of them looked over at our place when I just stood there waiting for one of them to smile at us.
June and I decided that we should not meet up with them and have our lunch all by ourselves. We just bought some hotdogs and hurried to the upper box so that we will have a good seat when the afternoon sessions start.
Jumping for Jesus.
The afternoon session started with a powerful praise and worship. By this time, Cuneta Astrodome is packed with people celebrating the goodness of Jesus Christ. The youths were jumping, dancing, shouting and singing praises to God. It was a very uplifting time, just enjoying the presence of God with people who loved Him.
Spiritual Brown-Out.
The first topic for the afternoon is about spiritual brown out. Spiritual brown out is a state in your life wherein you sing like a Christian, dance like a Christian, pray like a Christian, you serve God but inside, the light is out, there is just darkness. I admit, there are so many times that I have a spiritual brown out – people are seeing me serving God, attending the church, teaching the youths, praying, singing and dancing during praise and worship – and it all stopped there. Inside, I am no more than a blind person wandering in darkness, struggling not to stumble, and resisting any help I desperately needed. Yes, there were times, that I succeeded to put walls around my heart so that no one could hurt me, I succeeded in making my hearts hard enough that even God cannot get through. But praise be to God, that right now, He restored me and He had broken the walls I have created. Although I am more vulnerable now and in so much pain, I am assured by God’s promise of deliverance and healing.
There was this point were the pastor told of a story. And I can’t help but think that it is MY story. And he said, tell your seatmate “wag kang uto-uto.” My sister looked at me, and told me, “Ate, ikaw yun eh, Wag ka kasing uto-uto.” Whack! Bull’s eye. Now I understand the meaning of “guarding your heart”.
The session ended with an altar call. June and I started running in front, and kneel before Jesus. Again, I prayed the same prayer that I prayed last April when I attended a concert at Imus. I asked God to again take away the pain and that it would only be Him alone. I was crying so hard, I was so tired of hurting, and I needed God more than ever. And He came. He never failed me. He came again and carried me in His arms and filled me with His love. I know forgiving is not easy, but He promised, in time, in His time, I could fully let go of all the bitterness and feelings of betrayal. And He will be with me, and help me, and guide me every step of the way. And He will be waiting for me until I am ready. I’ll just take it one step at a time. Forgive first, then let go.
Radical Giving.
I never imagined people, more so youths will give what they have given yesterday at the Gising Kabataan Gathering. When the pastor asked us to give our offering to God, aside from money, many youths willingly gave their cell phones. A few gave their watches, or their necklace. Some their bracelets and rings. I was so amazed by how God moved in their lives that they became willing to give even their most precious possessions. On second thought, God gave us first His only Son, and our offering will not compare to how much He has given. I was just so overwhelmed by the response of the youth – giving radically for God. Talking with June after the concert, she shared that she would give her cell phone if ever she brought it with her. I also said that if ever I owned a cell, I would give it willingly. For the two of us, cell phones have been the source of many petty quarrels lately and have become a sort of “bondage”. Sometimes it is the things that you can’t let go of, that God is asking from us. Things we deemed important, but when compared to God, becomes nothing. Sometimes it is relationship, sometimes, people. As for me, I still can’t let go of hurts and frustrations and fears inside my heart, but I’m learning to give it to God one by one.
Loving your Pastor.
The last topic was about loving your pastor and preserving them. It is our pastor who gave us spiritual food so that we could be strong and they are the one whom God uses to guide us to where we are destined to be. Rev. Boy Ramos stressed the blessing of submitting and obeying our Pastor. The session ended by praying for our Pastors and a commitment to preserve them.
The concert ended with another praise and worship and presenting the ark of the covenant. June and I went home, satisfied, renewed and filled with His presence.
Gising na Ako.
Yep, I am now awake. There are so many things that God made me realize and see. And I don’t want to be in another post-concert/revival hang-over. I want to do it right this time. For God. All for Him. I offer my life to You alone, oh God and I believe that You will use me mightily for Your greatest glory.
