sad

yeah.. i know.. madami akong utang na update..

maybe is should tell about the new work, the new "old" relationship, the valleys i've encountered the past month, the Isang Silip sa Hell play, and other things I've gone through for

the past 8 months...but I really dont want to write about them..

honestly, this is all i want to write:

you know what's sad?

its looking at your boyfriend's profile on friendster and seeing he is more proud of his body than with you...

you know what's more sad?

its having to walk alone when you're in pain, because he can't accompany you to where you're going. it is during those time you'll feel insecure because you'll remember how he cared so much before for the girl from the past, how he fetch her and how worried he bacame when she's sick. it is when all the insecurities will resurface and you'll pity yourself once more. and you'll remember what you were before.

and the saddest thing?

its when you can't say how you feel... when you chose to hide everything for fear of another arguement... when you just have to say OK even if you're heart is breaking... when you begin to doubt yourself and your role in his life... when you just have to accept things you can't understand.. when you can't ask the questions because you were too scared of the answers.

sad times... just like now...

Thank You ASTI...

There's a trick to a graceful exit. It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, a relationship is over — and to let it go. It means leaving what's over without denying its validity or its past importance in our lives.

It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is also an entry — that we are moving on, not out.

The trick of leaving well may be the trick of living well. It's hard to recognize that life is not a holding action, but a process. It's hard to learn that we do not leave the best parts of ourselves behind, back there in the dugout or office. The experiences and the growth are grafted onto our lives.

And when we exit, we can take ourselves along — quite gracefully.

----
I'm leaving my first family. Yep, today is my last day here at ASTI.

I'm sure gonna miss them all. Grabe, overwhelming kaya yung feeling nung nagpapaalam na ko. Since yesterday, umiiyak na ako.

I never knew that this would be this hard. But I'm pretty sure that this is what God wants me to do.


----
Ayoko magsenti ngayon.. Maiiyak na naman ako.

Pag-Ibig nga Kaya

Ang saya-saya ng Princess Hours... Grabe, di nya ko pinapatulog.

At dahil sira ang TV namin, at di ko na masubaybayan yung nangyayari kina Prince Gian at Princess Janelle, halos araw-araw akong naglalamay sa panonood ng DVD ng Princess Hours. Waaaah... ang ganda, promise.. Nakakaiyak nga eh..

Tsaka, grabe si Gian... I heart him talaga.. Yung attitude nya, reminds me of someone. Tsaka dun sa mga iilang scenes na malambing sya kay Janelle, eh super sweet talaga... Grabe nga lang ang pagka-moody.


At naku, naiinis na ako kay Troy. Hmpf, kala ko pa naman ala-Nikko sya na super bait upto the end, eh hindi naman pala.

Syempre, na-LSS na rin ako sa theme song... hahaha.. good luck sa kin. :)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


Pag-Ibig nga Kaya

Di na maalala pa’no nagsimula
Ikaw ang laging nasa isip ko bawat araw
Laging ikaw ang aking nakikita
Ano ba ang nadarama ko ‘pag ikaw ay kasama

Ganyan din ang nadarama ko
Tuwing ika’y lalapit sa akin
Ako’y parang natutulala
Di ko malaman ang sasabihin ko

[Chorus]
Pag-ibig nga kaya
Pareho ang nadarama
Ito ba ang simula
Di na mapipigilan
Pag-ibig nga ito
Sana’y ‘di matapos ang nadaramang ito
Pag-ibig nga kaya ito (pag-ibig nga kaya ito), ooh
Pagkat nararamdaman, pag-ibig ating natagpuan

Malalaman mo lamang
Ang nararamdaman
Na ako ay magiging ikaw
Damdamin nati’y magsama

Laman ng puso ko’y ganyan din (hah)
Ikaw ay narito sa akin
Di ko hahayaang mawalay
Dito ka sa aking piling

[repeat Chorus]

Gagawin lahat (gagawin lahat)
Upang ‘di magkalayo (upang ‘di magkalayo)
Dito lang ako, di kita iiwan
Kahit sandali di ko papayagan mawalay ka sa akin

L-O-V-E

Since it is that time of the year when people treat their loved one in a more special way, I'll post the love chapter to remind us of what love really is all about.

1 Corinthians 13
Love Is the Greatest 1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.

11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Happy Hearts Day, everyone!!!

<3 <3 <3





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Natawa naman ako sa text ni Ptr Abel kanina.. sabi nya:

"Kumusta naman ang puso mo?"

Yun yun eh.. hehehe.. kumusta na nga ba?

Pero mas nakakatuwa yung reply nya nung kinumusta ko yung puso nya... Panalo yung sagot eh, di ko na nga lang ilalagay at baka mapadpad sya dito (hahaha, as if).. :)

Pre-Valentine Surprise

Last night, exactly one week before Valentines day...



i received a dozen red roses.






Maagang valentine gift.






I'm not really a fan of roses, especially the red ones...



pero last night,

halos maiyak ako nung makita ko yun.







That was the first bouquet i received in my WHOLE life...




B-ann and June always received bouquet of flowers during special occassions.
The last flower that I received was a rose from my father which was given to me almost 4 years ago.





Waaaaah....






Iba talaga yung feeling kagabi... I have this stupid smile across my face. All. Night.











Kahit wala ng magbigay ng flowers sa kin sa valentines, ayos lang sa kin. Kasi, kahapon I felt really special... Really cherished... Feeling beauty queen...






Salamat sa'yo. :)

hindi na ganun ka-lamig...

How would you feel
when a friend
told you
he likes you?
What would you do?


Argh...