sad

yeah.. i know.. madami akong utang na update..

maybe is should tell about the new work, the new "old" relationship, the valleys i've encountered the past month, the Isang Silip sa Hell play, and other things I've gone through for

the past 8 months...but I really dont want to write about them..

honestly, this is all i want to write:

you know what's sad?

its looking at your boyfriend's profile on friendster and seeing he is more proud of his body than with you...

you know what's more sad?

its having to walk alone when you're in pain, because he can't accompany you to where you're going. it is during those time you'll feel insecure because you'll remember how he cared so much before for the girl from the past, how he fetch her and how worried he bacame when she's sick. it is when all the insecurities will resurface and you'll pity yourself once more. and you'll remember what you were before.

and the saddest thing?

its when you can't say how you feel... when you chose to hide everything for fear of another arguement... when you just have to say OK even if you're heart is breaking... when you begin to doubt yourself and your role in his life... when you just have to accept things you can't understand.. when you can't ask the questions because you were too scared of the answers.

sad times... just like now...